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Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!

And without further ado:

Apple appears set to unleash the mobile device markets latest moving target with a planned iPhone event next week. While exact details of the event are of course top secret (unless you hang out in local bars), it matters little to most consumers as the words “new” and “iPhone” automatically results in people digging out their camping equipment and setting up shop in front of their local Apple retailer.

I have to admit that I still find it amazing that Apple continues to have the worldwide mobile industry wrapped around its finger with a single device. There are billions of mobile customers that don’t have access to an iPhone and yet you would think that all 5 billion-plus mobile users around the world had the device in their pocket. Hand someone in a developed country and under the age of 40 a phone other than an iPhone and they are apt to look at you like you just handed them a lump of dog crap.

The phenomenon has left mobile operators in a bind as they of course want to have all the customer-grabbing attention the device entails, yet do not want to give in to the notion that Apple is really the company pulling the strings in their relationship. But, listen to any talk given by a carrier CEO and the inevitable iPhone question is one that always shows how much they really want that device. Sure, they may try to divert attention away from the iPhone by touting the awesome features and specifications of other devices, but deep down they all know that to not have the iPhone in their lineup is to be saying goodbye to scores of customers.

As for device makers, a new iPhone is always a great way to wipe away the thought in the minds of consumers of any other device launched up to that point, regardless of the millions of dollars spent on marketing such devices. And it’s not like device makers are not trying to get out ahead of this reality. I can’t count the number of new smartphones launched in the past several weeks, all of which include the latest and greatest specifications designed to lure consumers, but all also lacking the one known quality that consumers seek first and foremost: the iPhone brand.

I also find it amusing that Apple wastes so much time during its iPhone events in unveiling the device, spending precious minutes trying to explain all of the new features of the device that make it better than the previous model. Don’t they know that people couldn’t care less about the latest high-efficiency chipsets, brighter screen, better battery life (well, maybe they do care about this), updated operating system and bigger Apple logos? All they want to know is when can they get it and who do they have to fight in order to get it. People do like to fight over stuff, especially Apple stuff.

Even the price tag for the device is irrelevant. Consumers will go without food in order to save the money required to purchase an iPhone. They will go without shelter to afford the accompanying data package that is required in order to show off all the cool applications they can download to their iPhone. It’s really quite amazing.

Of course, everyone knows that whatever Apple unveils is the most awesome device ever created and makes anything that has come before it appear made of stone. Despite that, almost immediately after its unveiled people will begin flooding the Internet, coffee shops and family gatherings with complaints about what the phone lacks and is not capable of.

Why isn’t the screen .001-inches larger?
Why isn’t it .0001-millimeters thinner?
Why doesn’t it have an espresso maker?
Why is there not a TDMA version?
Why does it not include technologies that have not been invented yet?
Why does it not fill the void in my life I was expecting it to fill?

Again, none of this really matters as whatever Apple unveils next week will be snapped up by all with, or without the means to do so. And of course the frenzy will begin again for what the next, next iPhone will be.

OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:

–I received a couple of interesting press releases this week that included facts that I have no idea what to do with.

First, Samsung claimed that it had sold 10 million Galaxy S II devices worldwide since its launch in April. Now, that seems like a big number and probably something that for Samsung is a nice milestone. But, for the rest of us, does this actually mean anything? While that does indeed seem like a big number, with several billion mobile customers worldwide, that number does not seem quite as impressive. Again, I just don’t know.

Also, following up last week on my comments about Cellular South changing its name to C Spire, the company said this week that the company experienced record traffic on Monday to its new website. The carrier claimed a 1,400% increase in daily traffic compared with a typical day and experienced greater traffic than any of the colorfully named high-traffic days that are spread out around the holidays. Again, these numbers sound impressive, but I am also still at a loss for what this all means. Maybe the old website was just so awful that no one ever went there? Maybe people were searching for “C spine” and got lost? So many questions.

–What better way to end a Friday than with news of an application that allows people to bid on over-priced bottles of wine. This ability has finally been made possible by Spectrum Wine Auctions, which launched an app that allows the snobbiest of the snobs (picky wine drinkers that own iPhones) to bid on bottles of crushed grapes while ignoring their families. Really, I am amazed this has not been developed already.

I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at: dmeyer@rcrwireless.com.
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